What Motherhood Has Taught Me

Despite being around them daily, my kids still have the ability to take my breath away with their beauty, kindness, and general awesomeness. First, it was Westbrook who literally took my breath away. He is an aggressive batter. He will spin, jump, run, and fall to hit the ball. He also has a habit of charging the pitcher to hit the ball rather than wait for the ball at the plate. Suppy noted it was similar to Happy Gilmore's approach to golf.
Tonight, I reminded him to take his stance, hold the bat upright, and keep his eye on the ball. He smacked the ball hard... directly into my face. I should have kept my eye on the ball. It hurt something awful. It was my fault. I was standing too close because my underhanded pitching skills are not what they once were.* Unfortunately, my reaction time is also not what it was in my younger days.** It took me a few minutes to recover- my face is still tingling. It took Gram even longer. In fact, several hours later she is probably still laughing somewhere. I was relieved of my pitching duties after it was determined that the further away I retreated (for safety reasons), the worse my accuracy became. On the second pitch by Suppy, Westbrook once again hit the ball straight at me nailing me in the stomach.  Westbrook easily makes contact with ninety percent of the pitches.(Impressive for an almost 5-year old? Maybe.) Hopefully he will improve upon his accuracy and Babe Ruth like aim.

Llandis on the other hand is not really into baseball yet. She was more interested in the caterpillars in the yard. She found a little friend in the driveway at Grams. She carried it around the yard, letting it crawl on her arms while she watched it lovingly. When asked for the caterpillars name, Llandis gave Gram the very dry, obvious answer of "I don't know." How would she know? She doesn't speak caterpillar. Folks, Llandis is funny.*** And stunning.****Watching her float around the yard with her favorite insect was almost too much for my heart.

Happy Gilmore Style Golfing

*Truth: My underhanded pitching skills were never "what they once were"
**Truth: My speed and agility are probably the same which means I was either really slow in my prime or I am really impressive now. I will let you decide.
***Truth: She gets that from me.
****Truth: She gets that from me too. (I hope)

What Motherhood Has Taught Me (#12)

I want the kids to go to bed at a decent hour but...
It rained all day so we have been trapped inside.
Llandis took a two hour nap.
Wade is out playing volleyball.
I am in this alone.
There is only one logical thing to do if the kids are going to be in bed by 7:30pm...

bring the trampoline inside and let them burn off all the energy in their tiny little bodies!

What Motherhood Has Taught Me (#10)

A wise man once said that one of the keys to becoming rich was to only buy one or two types of sock. You will save yourself hours of time because you won't have to sort and pair matching sock... they all match. You also will not find yourself with a drawer full of single socks nor will you resort to paying your four children a quarter per each pair they match in the annual Llewellyn sock-a-thon.

Since sandal season started, I have not been matching socks around here. They all go in the sock bin where (I promise myself) they will be sorted at a later time. We have been periodically digging out matches when Westbrook wants to wear his speed shoes* or we take a trip to the bounce house.

The sock bin has been a point of contention in the house as the basket has started overflowing. Conversations sound something like this "But I folded all the laundry so you should be the one to sort the socks." "If you sort the socks, then I will (insert awful task here)." "Did you see I sorted the first 92 layers of socks? Can you do the rest? I know there are another 1789 layers, but I started!" "Let's assume they all no longer fit and toss the whole thing."

I finally decided that come hell or high water, we were not leaving for vacation without all the socks matched.** So we paired just shy of 100 pairs of socks between the four of us- all sizes (newborns socks? really?), colors, and patterns.

And yet, we were left with this...

Where could all those single socks be? Wouldn't you think that so many socks would be noticeable if they were just hanging around the house? Apparently not.

So, what has motherhood taught me? Listen to your father.

*Sammy's old Nikes with fire designed laces!

**Pre-vacation nesting also included rearranging furniture, cleaning out closets, and making the house junk drawer-less.

What Motherhood Has Taught Me (#11)

Always say yes when someone offers you free costumes or you spot them on sale. Always.

What Motherhood Has Taught Me (#10)

When Llandis in unattended for more than two seconds, you never know what you will find...

Like a hallway full discarded clothes.


And a naked girl on the potty... in gold shoes!


Or sneaking snack bars from the pantry

What Motherhood Has Taught Me (#8)

Watermelons need seeds.

It is admittedly early in the season to eat watermelon but they actually had the real deal this weekend at the farmer's market... I can't resist seeded watermelon. They (who are they?) can say seedless watermelon are non-GMO and/or hybridized watermelons are fine, but they are not my friends. Seedless watermelons are too small too satisfy a true watermelon craving- have you tried spreading a tiny watermelon out amongst a group of adults lately? You would need five of them. They also do not lend themselves well to seed spitting contests (I always lose). While the seed deficient variety to fit in your fridge a little easier, a watermelon is never cold enough unless stored in a cooler packed with ice. Ahhh, watermelon.

Plus, there aren't really that many seeds in the big guys...

Try finding a seedless watermelon big enough to do this...
or this...
And they are never juicy enough...
Watermelons need seeds.

(Can you tell just how much I love watermelon? Heavens, it is wonderful stuff!)

What Motherhood Has Taught Me (#8)

Where there are Sharpies and batteries, there is Llandis.

What Motherhood Has Taught Me (#7)

How to increase your chances of a decent family photos...

Place the kids in a lovely area with something sweet:

The moment they are finished get ready to move!

In one swift movement, swoop in, toss aside things like cake plates and sunglasses...

Smile!
Hold tight!
Whisper words like candy and promise:
Awesome!

What Motherhood Has Taught Me (#6)

You take what you can get and you cherish every second.

What Motherhood Has Taught Me (#5)

Give a kid a job involving fruit and they will eat it all. (Apologies to most of the Easter lunch crew that found themselves fruitless)

I really love this photo. The colors are fantastic. The food is all beautiful... deviled eggs in the front, yellow flowers on the side, colorful fruit in the crystal, and a lovely cake in the background. Llandis' milky skin nearly sets me over the edge.

What Motherhood Has Taught Me (#4)

No matter how many times I organize a space or install clever stuff-keepers (like the shoe bins & stool that should be holding all the shoes blocking the walkway), this house will still be a mess.

What Motherhood Has Taught Me (#3)

Sleeping babies are the greatest gift of all.

What Motherhood Has Taught Me (#2)

The more hair bands you use, the more likely the hair will be in place at the end of preschool....

What Motherhood Has Taught Me (#1)

Every mother should have one of these:


If you don't have a Riri, you are missing out. She shows up when we need her most. She loves the kids. She isn't afraid to change a diaper. She throws great afternoon parties. And she makes great birthday cakes.

We love you RIRI!