Where's Westbrook?

Despite walking until I am goofy footed (see below) and generally wearing myself out, Westbrook is still not here. My new theory on his stubbornness is this: I have not done a few of the things entitled to all pregnant women. I am going to make a point to take care of these things ASAP and perhaps then Westbrook will appear.

#1: Mid-night craving demands. I think the main reason I don’t send Wade out for cravings is that the one thing I crave most is not available at midnight… a brand spanking new Volvo SUV but I would settle for an equally new BMW X5 SUV. I am completely obsessed with both gas-guzzling monsters. Even if they were available for purchase at midnight, we couldn’t afford one any way so what is the use. (Side note- if anyone “knows a guy” or can get me a good deal, aka free- just let me know)
Anyway, the God given right of pregnancy to make unreasonable requests has not yet happened but a warning to WadeÂ…. get your night vision goggles on because big mama is going to ask for something soon and very, very late. Although, truth be told, it really would not be right of me to send him out late at night. Since I am just sitting around all day, asking Wade to go out to the store late at night after starting his day before dawn and then working a second job nights & weekends is not even remotely fair to him. Plus, I do the grocery shopping and am a convenienceenence craver- if we have watermelon; I want watermelon and therefore must have it. If we have no watermelon, I just look in the fridge long enough until I find something else that will suit me.

#2: Complete emotional breakdown in public. I am not sure why this hasnÂ’t happened yet since I become a nutcase plenty at home. However, I am pretty sure that the next moron to ask me if I am having twins may incur the wrath of my overloaded hormones.

#3: Well folks, he is not due for another 2 weeks. I keep forgetting this important little fact when I am anxious for him to arrive and upset that I can no longer get out of bed without serious pain. Due to the whole “50% chance he will be born when we flip him” Wade and I got really excited that we may have a baby soon. That was two weeks ago. Now it feels like he sooooo late. I try to remind myself he is not late, yet, but it is useless.

Patience is not a virtue that I do not have in this matter. In my quest to induce labor, I am still walking and taking the stairs like a woman training for the Olympics. Both activities definitely cause contractions but unless I want to give birth while walking, I am not doing much more than causing myself extreme discomfort with all this activity. I have made a rule to stop waddling all together when I can help it. At some points my back hurts too bad and the very pregnant waddle/bobble with one or both hands on the back is all I can handle.